Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked
by Carol Mankiewicz
Summary: Jonathan and Jennifer Hart are the perfect couple. They met through a mutual friend, and were friends for a long time...after becoming well established in their respective careers, they got married. It was the icing on the cake. Is the love the Hart's share strong enough to withstand an unforseen, and unimaginable circumstance...We'll have to see!
1. Chapter 1

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 1

Jonathan and Jennifer Hart were everyone's idea of a happily married couple. They met in London while Jonathan was there on business and Jennifer was on a well deserved vacation with her best friend. Jonathan was a partner in the successful Barnes-Ewing Corporation, and its success made him one of the wealthiest businessmen in the country. Barnes-Ewing Corporation was a major New York firm. Jennifer was a graduate of Harvard Law School, and had established herself as a very successful criminal attorney. When they met Jennifer lived and worked in Los Angeles, but re-established herself in New York after they were married. They were truly the Golden Couple. Everything they touched, either separately or on their own, worked out for them. They were a perfect fit, they both loved horses, travelling, and skiing. In fact, they enjoyed everything they did together, even if it was doing the Saturday morning crossword puzzle in the New York Times. Life for the Hart's was absolutely perfect.

While going over a case file she was preparing for trial she received a phone call.

"Mrs. Hart's office" her secretary, Liz, said into the phone. "Good morning, I'd like to speak to Mrs. Hart please. This is Dr. Bill Jones". Liz buzzed Jennifer's office. "Mrs. Hart, there is a Dr. Jones on line 3...he says it's important."

Jennifer picked up the phone. "Good morning Dr. Jones. What can I do for you?" she said. "Jennifer, you missed an appointment and I'm just calling to reschedule it" the doctor said. "I have an opening tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. The appointment won't take long at all." Jennifer looked at her calendar. "Tomorrow is a lighter day, I can make that appointment. OK, I'll see you tomorrow, goodbye Dr. Jones."

Jennifer arrived at the Dr.'s office and registered with the receptionist, then went and took a seat in the waiting room. After her examination Dr. Jones suggested she go for a mammogram. "I really want you to get one today while you have the time. Then you won't have to think about it for another year" he reassured her. "Did you feel something, Dr.?" she asked. He checked her very carefully, but then he always did that. "No, not at all Jennifer, I just don't want you to have a problem later. Please. I think you should do it." He was so insistent she didn't have the heart to say no. He knew he was right. She had just been so busy with work that she had completely forgotten to go for one last year. "Where do I have to go?" she asked. The procedure will only take about 5 minutes Jennifer. And of course I'll call you if there's a problem, but I'm sure there won't be." He said, patting her hand. The address he gave her was very close, so she went before heading back to her office. She arrived, registered with the receptionist, then picked up a magazine and sat down to wait for someone to call her name.

Fifteen minutes after she arrived, a lab tech came to the door of the waiting room and called her. "Mrs. Jennifer Hart." There was something very cold and impersonal about the way she said it, but Jennifer got up and followed her. As she began to unbutton her blouse in the examination room she started feeling a little frightened. She forced herself to realize that this was just a routine procedure. The only difference is that this time it was being done by strangers. She wasn't in Los Angeles anymore, and this was the first mammogram she'd scheduled since she moved to New York. The lab tech stood by while she undressed and offered her a gown, and told her to leave it opened in the front. She pointed out a small sink, handing her a towel, and instructed Jennifer to wash off any perfume she was wearing, and then pointed out a machine that was across the room. Jennifer walked across the room to the machine, anxious to get it over with. The tech rested Jennifer's breast on a small tray then closed the upper part of the machine over it. The tech tightened the machine as much as possible, instructed Jennifer to hold her breath, and then took two pictures. After the lab tech repeated the procedure on the other side, she told Jennifer it was over and she could get dressed. The tech gathered the pictures and left the room, almost slamming the door behind her. Jennifer thought to herself as she dressed that the procedure was simple, and more uncomfortable than painful. Jennifer would have liked to know the results right then and there, but felt confident that they would be fine when they called Dr. Jones office on Monday. She grabbed her purse, and left the office planning to grab something for lunch on the way back to her office.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 2

**When Jonathan got home at the end of the day Jennifer was waiting for him. She stopped at Dior's and bought a surprise for Jonathan. When she heard his key in the lock her heart began to race. She had dimmed the lights, had a bottle of his favorite champagne on ice in a silver bucket, and the glow of the bedroom fireplace was the only light in the room. When he entered the house he called out to her. "Jennifer...Baby...where are you?" he called. In a sexy, seductive tone she called to him, "I'm upstairs Baby". The tone in her voice excited him. He put his briefcase in his office and was upstairs in a heartbeat. As he walked into their bedroom he couldn't help notice the romantic atmosphere she had set up for them. "Darling, where are you?" he called, not seeing her when he entered the room. "Here I am" she said, as she came out of their bathroom and seductively walked over to him. She was wearing a green sheer peignoir with a slit almost to the top of her thighs, and the bodice was low cut, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She took his breath away. Before he could say anything she kissed him hard, and passionate, her tongue seeking his, and her hand reached behind him and held his head to her. Their lovemaking was always very passionate, but Jonathan had never sensed the urgency she was showing now. When she released him he was breathless. "Darling, what's..." he started to say. "Shhh", she whispered. She began unbuttoning his shirt. As she slipped it off his shoulders she moved in to his chest, bathing his nipple with her tongue. He moaned with desire for her as she slowly backed him up toward their bed. She undid his belt, and as she did he reached out and held her wrist. "Don't...let me love you Jonathan" she said, as she held his wrists over his head and straddled him on their bed. He enjoyed their sex life as much as she did...but he couldn't help feeling that there was more to her overt display of passion. At this moment he was so hot for her he couldn't resist her, even if he wanted to...which he never did. She ran her delicate fingers all over his body following her them with featherlike kisses. His heart was pounding, and the desire she built up in him had reached a fever pitch. He slowly lifted the peignoir over her head, gazing at her perfect breasts. In a quick movement he rolled over so he was on top of her. His 'manhood' was erect and throbbing for her. "OH...Baby" he moaned as he entered her. He gently licked, kissed and nipped at her hardened nipples. She arched and moaned under him until she peaked. After a few more hard thrusts he reached his peak. As they lay wrapped in each others arms he noticed tears rolling down her cheeks. "Jenn...baby...what's wrong?" he asked her, gently stroking her face. As she gazed up into his piercing blue eyes, she whispered, "Jonathan...I love you so much. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you" she sobbed.**

**"Jennifer, I love you...you are my world, and you are NEVER going to lose me." She turned her face away from him. Gently turning her face back to him he said, "Baby, I'm not going anywhere...ever, for better or worse, and don't you ever forget that." She rolled the blankets off her, sprang up off the bed and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. They never got to enjoy a glass of the chilled champagne. Jonathan got up and went to open the bathroom door. When he got to the door he was heartbroken to hear her crying uncontrollably on the other side. "Jennifer...Baby...please open the door. What's wrong?" He sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her to come out, but she didn't. She sat on the bathroom floor and cried for hours. She was obviously pained about something, and Jonathan decided he wasn't going anywhere until she came out and talked to him. He was getting scared. In all their years together they had never kept anything from each other. As he waited he couldn't imagine why she was so upset. Jonathan thought she might even be afraid of something. "Why would she possibly think she would lose me?" he thought to himself. "What has her so scared?" He sat on the bed and waited for her. **


	3. Chapter 3

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 3

While locked in the bathroom Jennifer pulled herself together, and when she emerged she looked like she didn't have a care in the world. Jonathan was still sitting on the edge of the bed waiting to talk to her. "Jonathan...I didn't realize you were still sitting there" she said, surprised. "You didn't really think I would leave before having a chance to talk to you, did you?" With her brightest smile she approached him and wrapped her arm around his neck, nuzzling into him and nibbling his earlobe. "Baby, I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm fine...really. I guess I just missed you more than I realized while you were away." As she turned to walk away he took hold of her forearms and turned her to face him. She took a deep breath and lifted her head to face him. "Jennifer, I'm always glad to hear that you miss me when I'm away...but you don't cry the way you just did simply because you missed me. Come on Jenn, level with me. What's going on?" he asked her. "Nothing...really...Jonathan, I've got 2 major trials coming up so I'm swamped at work. Not to mention I've missed you like crazy" she said as she moved in closer to him and stroked his 'manhood'. As much as his heart practically jumped out of his shirt at the touch of her hand on him, he was getting annoyed that she wasn't telling him something. "Frustrated, he looked at her saying, "Jenn, I have a bit more work that I need to get done on the Lawson deal. I'm going back to the office." He showered and dressed, retrieved his briefcase from his office and left without another word spoken between them. When Jonathan returned home Jennifer was already in bed asleep. He got ready for bed and gently crawled into bed beside her. He propped himself up on an elbow, gazing at her while she slept. "Baby, what is it you're afraid to tell me?" he wondered to himself. He rolled over, turned out the light and went to sleep.

The next morning Jennifer made a point of getting up and out of the house before Jonathan woke up. She had an appointment with Dr. Jones to get her test results before going to her office. She thought about telling Jonathan about it, and asking him to come with her, but in the end she went alone. "Good morning Jennifer" Dr. Jones greeted her as she walked in to the waiting room. "Punctual as usual, I like that. Come on back to my office." Jennifer walked back into his office and took a seat. "So what is it? Is it the pap smear? She asked, as her palms started to sweat. "No Jennifer. It's the mammogram." He reached down and put a piece of film on the projector behind him and pointed to a frontal view. Then put another piece of film up with a side view. He looked at her with a very serious expression on his face. "Jennifer, There's a mass here", he said as he pointed it out to her. "It's very large, and quite deep, and the radiologist and I are very worried about it. You're going to need a biopsy as soon as possible, preferably within the next week." Jennifer tensed. "I can't. I'm going to trial in two days. I can't until after the trial is over. Can't you do the biopsy?" she asked, suddenly feeling very scared. "No Jennifer, I don't do biopsies...you'll need a surgeon for that." Jennifer suddenly felt as if her whole life had changed. Dr. Jones wrote down the names of a few surgeons, and gave her the piece of paper. "Surgeons...I don't have time for this" she said, as she started to cry. "We know I have a mass deep in my breast, and you're worried about it. That could mean I'll lose a breast, couldn't it?" "Yes it could" he said quietly. "And then what? The breast comes off...no more problems?" she sobbed. "I wish it was as easy as that. You may need chemotherapy, or radiation. I can't tell before you have a biopsy" he told her. He gave her the films so she could take them to the surgeon she chose. "Which one of these doctors do you recommend?" She asked as she read the list of names. "I'd start with Dr. Steve Kiley" he said. "Thank you" she said through sobs. She left the office and took a taxi to her own office. When she got to her office she found the whole team waiting for her. "Good morning everyone, I'm sorry I'm late" she said as she took her seat in the boardroom. She tried to conduct business as usual, but Liz, her secretary, noticed that she looked white as a sheet, but didn't say anything. To top it off, Liz noticed that her hands were shaking when she passed her papers. After the meeting ended Liz approached her. "Are you alright, Mrs. Hart?" she asked. All Jennifer said was "I'm fine." Jennifer managed to get through the rest of her day, barely. When she finally got home she was drained. "You look completely worn out" Jonathan said as she took her coat off. "Is something wrong?" he asked, wondering why she looked more tired than usual. "I'm exhausted Jonathan. I'm going straight to bed. Good night." She was definitely out of sorts. She hadn't given him a kiss, or even asked him about his day...She couldn't focus on anything but what her Dr. told her earlier. "You have a mass there"... "Biopsy"... "Radiation"... "Chemotherapy"... Jennifer got ready for bed, crawled under the blankets, and cried herself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 4

**A few days later Jennifer had arranged an appointment with Dr. Kiley, as Dr. Jones recommended. As she sat in Dr. Kiley's office she asked him, "Would you do the biopsy and the mastectomy on the same day, if it was needed?" she asked. "Normally not, but if you would prefer it that way we can. You seem to be a very busy woman, and it would certainly save time...if you are prepared to entrust me with that decision." He scared her with his matter-of-fact explanations, but she had learned of his excellent reputation. A few days later she was scheduled to check into the hospital. If she did have a tumor, and it was malignant, she knew Jonathan would be there for her. But first she had to bring herself to tell him. She told him that night after dinner. She set a beautiful table, with candles, flowers...she pulled out all the stops. She also prepared his favorite dinner, not forgetting his favorite wine...Chateau St. Clair. After a delicious meal she told him everything that she'd been keeping to herself. Everything that she was told by Dr. Jones, and Dr. Kiley, everything that she was afraid would happen. She even shared her biggest fear with him; the fear that if she had to undergo a mastectomy to save her life, that he would no longer see her as a complete woman anymore, that he would be turned off by the result of her surgery. **

**Jonathan didn't feel her pain at all. "I'm telling you Jenn, these doctors are all protecting themselves. Maybe this Kiley guy has a big mortgage on his house. Maybe he needs to do so many of these operations a year to cover it. How do I know? When you go to a surgeon he's not going to tell you to take two aspirin and call him in the morning. No, he's going to tell you that your breast needs to be removed. And if nothing else, he's going to paint the worst scenario to protect himself...just in case there is something there, which I don't believe for a minute." She looked over at him, stunned by what he was saying. "Jonathan, are you saying you think he's lying to me? That he would do the surgery even if I didn't have cancer?" Jennifer didn't know what to think now, and Jonathan's take on things wasn't helping. "Jennifer, it won't be malignant" Jonathan insisted. "Trust me." To her doctors it seemed like an easy choice. Get rid of the breast, and the problem. It was all so simple, as long as they were the doctors and not the patient. To them it was simply a matter of statistics. To Jennifer it was all about her breast, her life, and her future with Jonathan. The ultimate decision would be her surgeon's. Jennifer hung on to the hope that the tumor would be benign, but after everything they had told her it was appearing to be less likely. Even Jonathan's refusal to believe the truth was difficult to deal with. She felt that the only thing that kept her sane now was her work. She sat in the courtroom at the end of her trial. The jury had found her client 'not guilty'. Winning her trial had been the only good thing to happen in weeks. When she got back to her office there was a message left on her machine from Dr. Kiley. Her biopsy was scheduled for the next week, and if she required surgery she would be out of the office for 2 weeks at least. After talking to her boss, and clearing her desk of urgent matters, everything was arranged. Her associate would take over her caseload while she was away. Jonathan came to pick her up from work on her last day, and watched as she gave everyone a friendly hug goodbye. Her secretary, Liz, gave her a kiss on the cheek and wished her luck. "Take care of yourself Jenn" Liz said. "If you need anything, anything at all, call me ok?" AS they walked to the car Jonathan said, "Oh will you just stop it? Do you want sympathy, or what?" he sounded almost angry. "Actually, what I want is for YOU to be supportive. I may lose a breast in a couple of days, and you're insisting it couldn't happen" she said with tears in her eyes. The day she was dreading had finally arrived. She had her hospital bag packed, and was up earlier than usual. "Morning" Jonathan said sleepily as he passed her on the way to the shower, "you're up early. How's your day looking?" "HOW"S MY DAY LOOKING? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT...I'M HAVING SURGERY TODAY" she yelled, with tears rolling down her cheeks. "You're having a biopsy. Let's not get too worked up ok sweetheart?" Later that morning Jonathan drove Jennifer to the hospital. She signed all the necessary forms. So if the biopsy resulted in bad news, her doctor would perform all the necessary surgery that day. A nurse called Jennifer's name and led her to a hospital room, gave her a gown and asked her to change, pointing out a closet in the room where she could put her own belongings. A few minutes later the nurse returned to hook Jennifer up to an IV. She took her temp, and her blood pressure, listened to her heart then wrote some notes in Jennifer's chart. As she was leaving the room the nurse said, "OK Mrs. Hart, you're all ready to go now. They should be coming to take you to the O.R. in a few minutes. "Any calls you want me to make while I'm sitting here waiting for you?" Jonathan asked her. "No thanks, I've taken care of everything before I came" she answered. A few seconds later 2 orderlies appeared. "OK Mrs. Hart, they're ready for you now" one of them said as they wheeled her out of her room toward the elevator. Jonathan gave her a peck on the cheek, and a few seconds later the elevator door closed.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 5

**When the elevator opened on the surgical floor she was greeted by Dr. Kiley who was waiting for her. She was wheeled down a small hall and in to a room filled with machinery and bright lights. "Good morning, Mrs. Hart." He said as he touched her hand to try and reassure her. "We'll have you asleep before you know it." The nurse stuck a needle in her arm, and told her to start counting backwards from one hundred. Jennifer started counting, and by the time she reached ninety-two she was asleep. While Jennifer was in surgery, Jonathan paced around her room for what seemed to him to be forever. He called Deanne, his secretary, and confirmed his lunch date with Simon Wagner. They had meetings set up with their attorneys that afternoon too. Simon was joining the firm, and bringing all his important connections with him. Simon was to get a smaller percentage than he and his 2 partners but could buy more, once he had proven himself. Jonathan went to the cafeteria and bought himself a cup of coffee, then returned to her room to pace some more. By 11:00 a.m. Jonathan wished he was anywhere but there. Jennifer should have been back in her room by then, or, he thought, someone should have come to tell him when she'd come down. He didn't want to leave without seeing her, or her doctor. Another hour went by, and Jonathan was beyond tired of waiting. He looked at his watch for probably the millionth time, just as her doctor walked into her room. "Mr. Hart?" he extended his hand and shook Jonathan's. "How's my wife?" He got right to the point, as he was almost late for his lunch with Simon, his assistant, and their new clients. "She's doing as well as we can expect right now. She didn't sustain much blood loss at all, so we didn't have to give her any transfusions" the doctor told him. "Transfusions...for a biopsy? Isn't that unusual?"**

"**Mr. Hart, as we suspected, your wife had a mass deep in her breast and it penetrated the surrounding tissue. There is no question that it was a malignancy, and we believe it was a stage two cancer" Dr. Kiley explained. "What does that mean? You took the mass out of her breast, right?" Jonathan asked, trying to understand what he was being told. "Mr. Hart, we had to take the breast. It was the only way we could be sure there wouldn't be a recurrence. She can't have a recurrence in a breast that isn't there." Jonathan was livid. "What kind of barbaric medicine do you practice here? You just chopped off her breast so it wouldn't spread?" he shouted. "We practice cautious medicine, and have always endorsed aggressive treatment of cancer. I promise you Mr. Hart, there was no other choice" the doctor explained sympathetically. "Your wife has cancer, Mr. Hart. We want to cure her. Your wife will be in recovery until at least 6 or 7 P.M." the doctor told him. "How long will she have to be here?" Jonathan asked. "This is only Monday morning. She'll be here until Friday at least, if all goes well. A lot will depend on her attitude and her recovery" the doctor explained. "Get her around-the-clock nurses, please. When can I see her?" he asked. "I'm afraid you won't be able to see her until she comes down from the recovery room this evening, Mr. Hart" The doctor said. "Fine, I'll be back later this evening when she's awake and in her room." Having said that, Jonathan left the hospital and hurried to his lunch meeting at the Bistro. When Jonathan got to the restaurant Simon and his clients were there waiting for him. Sitting next to Simon was the assistant he had told him about. She was a beautiful woman in her late thirties, tall, with long brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. He noticed when she got up to go to the ladies room that she had a gorgeous figure, and her skirt barely covered her backside. "Pretty girl, eh?" Simon said to him as he noticed Jonathan watch her walk across the room. "I'll say. You certainly know how to pick your assistants" Jonathan teased. "Smart too." Her name was Emma, and Jonathan noticed that she was very comfortable in a group of half a dozen men. For Jonathan, it was a great lunch meeting, and a relief to be in a group of healthy people after his brutal morning at the hospital. It was only later, back in his office that he thought of Jennifer and wondered what lay ahead of them. He didn't hear Emma come into the room before he heard her say, "Bad day?" "Not really. It's just complicated. A deal I was working on went south, but things are in control now" he said, not wanting to tell her about Jennifer. She walked across the room, sat down and crossed her legs. Jonathan couldn't help but watch her. "I just wanted to thank you for letting me join you. Simon can be pushy about putting his own people forward sometimes. I didn't want you to think that you had to put up with me, because of Simon" she told him. "Nonsense, I'm sure you'll be an asset to the firm." Six o'clock came around all too soon, and he dreaded going back to the hospital. At eight o'clock, after having a shower and changing clothes, he left the house and headed back to the hospital. He tried to put on his brightest smile as he walked in to her room. "Hi Baby, how are you?" She looked at him and did nothing to hide her tears. "Where were you? Why weren't you here when I came back to the room?" she asked through her tears. "Why didn't you call me?" "I thought you'd be sleeping" he answered. When she was brought to her room from recovery Dr. Kiley came and explained what they found, and what they had to do to her. "I lost my breast...I have cancer..." Jonathan listened to her without saying a word. He held her, and cried with her. It was all more than he could cope with. "I'm so sorry, Baby...it's going to be all right" he said, trying to reassure her as he held her and stroked her hair. **


	6. Chapter 6

_Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked_

Chapter 6

After four weeks in the hospital the day Jennifer was being discharged was only days away. She should have been ecstatic at the prospect of going home...but she was absolutely terrified. While she was in the hospital Jonathan only visited her a few times, and grew more uncomfortable with each visit. During his last visit they had a heated argument, and when he left she was in tears. "You'll never want to make love to me again" she cried. "Don't go thinking crazy, Jenn. Stop thinking the worst about everything" he said matter-of-factly. "Why don't you just relax and look at the bright side." She lost it on him, and her voice carried down the hall. "What bright side? There is no bright side Jonathan...there's me too sick to move for the next couple of months, disfigured for the rest of my life, and, let's not forget, there's a chance of it recurring" she yelled. "My God Jenn, is there anything else you can think of to depress yourself? For chrissake Baby, I know this is terrible, but don't make it worse than it is" he said in a callous tone. "It couldn't be much worse. And don't tell me how to look at it. You get to walk out of here and go home tonight. You're going to feel fine all year, and when you look at yourself in the mirror nothing will be different. So don't you even begin to tell me how to look at it. I can do anything I want."

She was shouting at him, and he had never seen her so angry. Jennifer finally calmed down after the nurse came in and gave her a shot. She had a long road ahead of her, and she knew it, unlike Jonathan who was still in denial about everything that was happening to her. "I love you Baby" He whispered to her. She was just too angry to tell him she loved him too.

***** FOUR WEEKS LATER *****

The day had finally come, Jennifer was being released from the hospital and Jonathan had come to pick her up and bring her home. When they got home he dropped her bag in the foyer, and helped her get comfortable on the sofa in the living room. "Why don't we do something this weekend?" he suggested. "Why don't we go out to dinner with friends, or..." She cut him off. "Jonathan, I don't want to see anyone. What could I say, "Oh hi, I just lost my breast so we thought we'd invite you out to dinner to celebrate, before I start chemo? For chrissake, Jonathan, have a little compassion. This isn't easy" she cried. "I'm sure it isn't, but you don't have to sit around feeling sorry for yourself all day either. There's more to life than breasts, you know. You weren't that big anyway, so what's the big deal?" he said, trying to joke with her, but it was a very big deal to her. "Look, Jennifer why don't you concentrate on getting your strength back. You'll feel much better next week when you can get back to work, and get your life back to normal" he said, trying to cheer her up. Within an hour of bringing her home Jonathan had changed clothes. He picked up his briefcase as he headed for the door. "I have some work at the office that I need to take care of, I won't be too long." He left without giving Jennifer a kiss goodbye. Within minutes of Jonathan getting back to the office his phone rang. It was Simon. He had arranged a dinner with some clients, and thought Jonathan should join them. "I really should do what I need to do here and get home to Jennifer" he told him. "That's nonsense. You're wife has a nurse with her, so come on. We're meeting at the Madeo at 8:00 p.m., and then Emma knows this great place to take them dancing after dinner. We'll see you at 8:00 p.m., ok?" "OK, I'll see you there" Jonathan told him. When he got there Simon introduced him to everyone, and they ordered dinner. Emma was seated on Jonathan's right, and during dinner struck up a conversation with him. "Jonathan, Simon tells me that your wife is a very important attorney." Talking about Jennifer made Jonathan uncomfortable. "Yes, she is. She's a criminal attorney with a firm called Powers-Wagner" he told her. "Are you married?"

"No, I was married, but I've been divorced for 12 years now. It was a mistake. I was never in love with him. We were comfortable, but after 12 years I realized being comfortable just wasn't enough. What about you? Are you in love with your wife?" Emma asked. "Of course I love my wife" he answered, as Emma gazed at him. "We've been married for almost 19 years." They continued to chat with the other people at their table, and it was a very pleasant dinner. When they went to the dance club after dinner Emma wasted no time asking Jonathan to dance with her. As they danced Emma asked him bluntly, "Jonathan, have you ever had an affair?" He couldn't help but laugh. "Emma, has anyone ever told you that you're outrageous?" Once or twice...and I pride myself on it. I really like you Jonathan, isn't it obvious?" she asked, as she discreetly stroked his 'manhood'. He stepped back from her, "Shame on you" he whispered. "That was pretty obvious." "I'm always obvious when I'm interested, I hate wasting time" she whispered to him. "I do too. I'm married, Emma" he reminded her. "Is that a problem?" she asked, looking seductively into his piercing blue eyes. "I think so. I don't do this" he told her, not very convincingly. "That's too bad...it could be fun" she said seductively. "Fun is a game for single men" he said, wishing for just a moment that he was single again. Back at the table, Jonathan chatted with everyone for a few more minutes, then said goodnight to everyone and left. He was having a good time...and for a moment it bothered him that he was having a good time while Jennifer was at home alone. As he got into his car to drive home he hoped that he'd find Jennifer in a better mood than she was when he left her.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 7**

**When Jonathan got home after his evening with Simon, Emma and the clients he was surprised to find Jennifer still awake. She was reading in bed while she waited for him to come home. "So, did you get caught up with the work you had to do at the office?" she asked him. "Yes I did. Everything is caught up, and I can start fresh in the morning" he said, without making eye contact. "Really? And just where exactly were you while you were getting all this important work done? I called you at the office Jonathan...you weren't there. Where were you?" she asked, trying to keep her anger under control. "Oh, you must have just missed me. I was just about done when Simon called. He had a dinner meeting set up with an important client, and thought it would be a good idea if I was in on it. It went on a little longer than I wanted it to, but these things happen. It's business" he explained to her.**

**Jonathan went into his dressing room and got ready for bed. When he returned to the bedroom he got into bed and turned onto his side, away from Jennifer. "Goodnight Jenn" was all he said to her. When Jonathan closed his eyes it wasn't Jennifer he was thinking of as he drifted off to sleep...it was Emma's. The next morning Jonathan seemed anxious to get to the office. Suddenly he felt alienated from Jenn. All she seemed to talk about lately was her illness and things related to it. As he sat at his desk he scolded himself. He had a sick wife, a load of responsibilities, and another busy day ahead of him and yet all he could think of was Simon's **_**very hot**_** assistant. He had a lot on his plate and he didn't need any more complications, but suddenly he was obsessed with Emma. His workday was long and nonstop, but he managed to get everything cleared off his desk. At 6:00 p.m. he couldn't think of any excuses to prolong his day, so he went home. "Hi, how was your day?" Jennifer asked when she saw him. "Fine. Sorry I'm late, it was a crazy day" he answered back, sounding like a total stranger. It was as though, with the removal of her breast, they had become strangers. They went to bed early and after a busy day at the office Jonathan turned over on his side and went to sleep. After he was asleep, Jennifer pulled the blankets up and cried herself to sleep, aching for her Jonathan. It was Saturday, and Jonathan fed Jennifer another excuse to go to the office. Jonathan didn't have the workload that Jennifer, as a criminal attorney, lived with at her office everyday. He found he had nothing pressing to do; he went to the office to escape. **

**Emma happened to be in the office doing paperwork that was needed Monday morning. She heard Jonathan puttering around in his office. She knocked on his office door. "Hi. I thought I was alone here. I was just finishing up paperwork for Monday morning's meeting. I was just going to the pantry for a coffee. Do you want to come for one? She asked. "Sure. I wouldn't mind a coffee" he said, walking out from behind his desk, "Lead on." As she made their coffees in the pantry, she asked him, "Is your wife very sick, Jonathan? Simon told me that she recently had surgery" she said. He looked at her and nodded. "She recently had a breast removed, and she has to start undergoing chemo soon" he explained. "I'm so sorry. How difficult this must be for you!" Emma's sympathy was only for him...not for Jennifer. "I'm fine..." he started to say. "Are you though? Poor Jonathan" she cooed, as she moved as close to him as she could get. He was surprised by what happened next. She wrapped her arms around his neck, ran her fingers through his hair, and kissed him. He felt his entire body respond to her with a passion that almost frightened him. He wanted to 'take her' right there on the table in the pantry, but he didn't do anything more than respond hungrily to her kiss, and allow his hands to drift slowly over her body. Their mouths and their tongues explored each other with vigor. Jonathan broke the kiss, breathless. "Oh God, Emma...I can't...oh God...I want you..." Emma whispered in his ear, "I want you to." Unable to contain himself he smothered her neck and breasts with his lips, and then kneeled in front of her, nuzzling his mouth and tongue into her 'femininity' through her skirt. He inched it up, and continued to explore her 'hot spot' through her lace panties. "Ohhh...Jonathan...yes..." she moaned. As he pulled her hips closer to him he suddenly stopped. He stood up in front of her, as she adjusted her skirt. "Emma...we can't..." he said breathlessly, felling guilty toward Jennifer. He was still consumed with his desire for Emma. "I can't do this with you...I can't do this to my wife" he said. Before he could lose his resolve, he went back to his office to get his briefcase...and went home to Jennifer. Jennifer was still his wife, and in spite of their difficulties...he wanted to make thing work between them.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 8**

**After spending Saturday in the office Jonathan wasn't home before 7:30 p.m., and Jennifer wasn't pleased. She assumed correctly that he was avoiding her, but would have been heartbroken if she'd known what he'd been doing with Emma. Attempting to have a conversation with him, Jennifer said "Business must be doing very well Jonathan. You've never had to work Saturday's before."**

"**Simon is bringing in lots of new clients...he's great" he boasted. "Are you watching how he's handling things? His style may be nothing like yours, but you don't want some slick guy coming in and messing up your business, Jonathan." "Don't worry Jennifer, he wont. He's got a great reputation in Europe for bringing in business and big money" he explained. "Honest money?" she asked. She was an amazing attorney. She was always suspicious of things that were too good, or that seemed to come too easy. Even Jonathan was suspicious of Simon at first too. But now he was convinced that Simon was going to do great things for their business, and he had brought Emma in with him. Dinner that night was very strained. They seemed to be desperately trying to find topics of mutual interest to talk about. At least they were together. Again that night, as every night since she came home, they got into bed and Jonathan made no attempt to come near her. As usual, he slept on his side facing away from her. And, as usual, she lay on her side of the bed and cried herself to sleep. Just a kiss or a hug would have meant so much to her. Jennifer went to her follow-up appointment, to see how her scar was healing. "The wound is very clean, Jennifer" he told her. "If you decide to go ahead with breast reconstruction later on, your plastic surgeon will be very pleased." The doctor seemed quite pleased with how things were going, and Jennifer wanted to be too. But the fact that she had lost her breast a few weeks before, and had been told she had cancer were hardly reasons to be pleased. Now she was told she would have to face chemo. "Have you looked at the wound yet yourself, Jennifer?" he asked, putting his hand over hers. She simply shook her head. "Perhaps you should. You have to prepare yourself. And what about your husband?" he asked compassionately. "I think you should look at it. You'll be allowed to bathe again soon, so of course you'll see yourself. But a good look in the mirror wouldn't hurt. It's time to face it, Jennifer" he encouraged her. Nothing the doctor said to her prepared her for what she saw when she looked herself in the mirror when she got home. She approached the mirror, trying to keep her eyes on her face. She slowly pulled her dressing down and saw the reflection in the mirror. She stepped back from the mirror, and couldn't help but let out a blood-curdling scream. It was hideous...the ugliest thing she had ever seen. The area where her breast had been was now completely flat, and looking at it she couldn't miss the big red scar that was there in its place. Marie, the Hart's long devoted housekeeper, heard Jennifer's scream and ran to her. When Marie got to the bathroom she found Jennifer sitting by the sink with her arms wrapped around her knees, crying uncontrollably. "Mrs. Hart...Mrs. Hart...what happened?...are you hurt?...should I call the doctor?...Mrs. Hart?" Poor Marie didn't know what was wrong with her employer...she had worked for the Hart's for years, and thought of Jennifer as the daughter she never had. "I can't fight this, Marie. He hates me...I'm so ugly...I'm hideous...he hates me" Jennifer cried. "I...I've lost...lost him...Marie." Marie's heart broke for Jennifer. But she knew Jennifer was a strong woman. Jennifer never gave up. She was a fighter. But at this point, Jennifer didn't feel she had any fight left in her. After getting home from seeing Dr. Kiley, and seeing her scar for the first time, in her bathroom mirror, Jennifer was drained. She was sleeping when Jonathan got home at 4:30 p.m. He was surprised to find her sleeping at that hour. "What's up?" he asked. "I was tired after my appointment, that's all" she answered. "The results of my latest tests are back...and", she started to tear up as she spoke, "the scar is healing well, but..." Jonathan interrupted, "Great. Well that should have cheered you up" he said, trying to sound optimistic. "It didn't exactly cheer me up, Jonathan" she said. "Was there a problem?" he asked. "Just one...it seems that I've recently lost a breast" she said, as her eyes filled up with tears. "So why are you so tired?" he asked. Jennifer had finally had enough tip-toeing around it, and finally let her true feelings and frustrations out. Half screaming, half crying, she said**

"_**JONATHAN...WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME...PICTURES? I LOST A BREAST. IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME. AND I DON'T BELIEVE FOR A SECOND THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL TO YOU TOO." **_

"**Jenn, calm down, I'm sorry, I just need a little time to get used to all this, that's all" he said, trying to soothe her. She wasn't having any of it. "**_**DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT...I'M STILL TRYING TO GET USED TO IT MYSELF. BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED A FEW THINGS THAT WERE IMPORTANT TO ME; ONE OF THEM BEING MY BREAST, AND THE OTHER...MY HUSBAND. I SEEM TO HAVE LOST YOU RIGHT AFTER I LOST MY BREAST. I'M TIRED OF YOUR DISAPPEARING ACT, OF YOUR ACTING LIKE I DON'T EXIST, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COPE WITH WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME..." **_

**He interrupted her again. "That's not true", he said angrily, more so because what she was saying was true...and he knew it. **

"_**THE HELL IT ISN'T. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE FOR ME ONCE SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT...AND EVER SINCE MY SURGERY YOU'VE TREATED ME MORE LIKE YOUR GRANDMOTHER THAN YOUR WIFE. HOW MUCH LONGER IS IT GOING TO GO ON? HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME PAY FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T MY FAULT? UNTILL I GET IT RECONSTRUCTED SO I DON'T SCARE YOU WHEN I TAKE MY TOP OFF...OR ARE WE FINISHED FOR GOOD? I JUST WANT TO KNOW SO I'M NOT ANNOYING YOU, OR MAKE YOU SICK TO YOUR STOMACH WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER." **_

**She finally let out everything she had been keeping bottled up for weeks. When she was finished, she was in tears. She ran into her bathroom, and locked the door. She slid down the door, wrapped her arms around he knees, and cried uncontrollably. Jonathan went and picked up his briefcase and went back to his office. "She's just tired. I'll talk to her later, after she's had a good rest" he thought to himself as he closed the front door.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 9**

**After the argument Jonathan had with Jennifer he ended up spending the night on the couch in his office. "Good Morning Jonathan" Emma said as she poked her head in his office. "Are you ok?" she asked. "Jennifer and I had a major blow-out last night. I don't know what's happening to me lately" he said. "I feel so sorry for her. I know what kind of need she's in. All I seem to feel for her is anger. Rage at what's happened to our life. It seems like it's all her fault, except I know that it isn't. But it's not my fault either. I just don't want to see what's happening to her. It's terrifying, and...God help me...I feel like a monster" he said, as he lowered his face into his hands. "How awful for you Jonathan" she said, sitting beside him and placing her hand on his thigh. "She expects me to be there for her, to hold her hand, to go to treatments with her, and talk about it with her. I just can't seem to do any of it. I want my life back" he sighed. "You certainly have a right to it" Emma said softly, stroking his thigh. Jonathan had come to believe that Emma was the most understanding and least demanding woman he had ever met. It was so easy talking to her, and she was such a comfort to him. All Emma wanted was to be with him, under any circumstances, in spite of the obvious limitations there would be on their relationship...after all, Jonathan was married. Emma made it clear to him that she was just so in love with him that she'd accept any conditions, as long as he just saw her. "I love you so much, and I hate to see you going through this" she said, as he looked at her with conflicting emotions. "I think I love you too...that's the craziness of all this...I love you, but I still love her too. I love both of you. I **_**want**_** you, but my obligations are to her. But that's all we seem to have left right now...obligations. Eventually she's going to hate me. In fact, I think she does already."**

"**Then she's a fool. You're the sweetest, kindest man that ever lived" she said, but Jonathan knew better...and lately, so did Jennifer. "I'm the fool here...I should just grab you and run before you come to your senses and find someone with a much less complicated life." He had never been so smitten with anyone since his teens, maybe not even with Jennifer. "Where would we run to?" she asked with a seductive smile. "Maybe Hawaii...or an island near Tahiti...someplace tropical, where I could have you all to myself", and as he described it, he felt her hand stroke his 'manhood', and he smiled at her. "You're a bad girl, Emma Stevens." "Perhaps you might want to see just how bad I can be one of these days. I'm beginning to feel like a virgin" she teased, and he actually felt himself blush. "I'm sorry", he said. "Don't be sorry" she said seriously. It'll make it even more special when you finally do work it out." She was sure that he would, it was just a question of time. She would wait. He was well worth waiting for. He was one of the most desirable men in Los Angeles, and one of the most successful. How could this happen to him? How could Jennifer get cancer and he fall in love with another woman all at once? "I'm going to be very grateful to Simon one day", he whispered to her, and she laughed. "Or very angry. That's the bad thing about all this verbal foreplay. You're building up an awful lot of expectations. I might be very disappointing." "I don't believe that for a second" he said, aching to make love to her right there on his couch. She finally stood up, straightening out her skirt as she stood. "Well...I better get back to work. I still have some things to do before this afternoon's meeting." She turned and looked at him "I'm sure I'll see you later" she smiled seductively then walked down the hall to her office to finish preparing for the meeting. At the end of the day they went and grabbed a bit to eat. He seemed to want to be with Emma every minute he could. When he wasn't with her he found himself daydreaming about her. When he dropped her off at her front door they stood there for what felt like forever, kissing on her doorstep. Her hands were caressing him, and his eager hands roaming over every inch of her body. "We can go inside you know" she said, enticing him with her lips and her hands. "That would be Heaven" he said, breathless after a passionate kiss. "I'm not sure how much longer I can stand this" kissing her again in desperation. "Not much longer, I hope, sweetheart" she whispered in his ear, as her hands grabbed his buttocks and pressed him to her. His body felt her throbbing against him, and he trembled with desire when he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. It took every ounce of strength he had to resist her. "God...you're killing me here" he said, laughing at the agony of it. "And you'll catch cold." "Then you'd better keep me warm, Jonathan." "Oh God, you don't know how much I want to." He closed his eyes and pressed her against him. Finally, he managed to tear himself away from her, and walked home. He thought he needed the long walk to regain his senses before he got home...to Jennifer. When he got home Jennifer was already in bed, sound asleep. He stood for a few minutes just looking at her, silently apologizing to her, but his heart longed for Emma now, not Jennifer. He quietly got in bed beside her and fell asleep. It was only 6:00 a.m. when he woke to a strange sound. He couldn't make out what it was, and it wouldn't stop. It's only after he rolled over and turned on the light that he realized it was Jennifer. She was vomiting and retching uncontrollably in their bathroom. He lay there for awhile, not sure if he wanted to bother her or not. Finally he got up and stood in the doorway. "Are you all right?" She didn't answer him for quite a few minutes, and then finally, she nodded. "I'm just peachy thanks" "Well at least she hasn't lost her sense of humor" he thought to himself, but she still couldn't stop vomiting and retching. "Is it something you ate?" Even now, after so much time had passed, and everything she had been through...he was still in denial. "I think it's the chemo" she moaned. "Should I call the doctor?" he asked. She nodded her head, and kept on vomiting. He went to shower in the guestroom. When he came back a half hour later she'd stopped vomiting, but was lying on the bathroom floor with her eyes closed, and a cold facecloth over her head. "You're not pregnant, are you?" he asked. She simply shook her head, as she thought to herself, "**_**getting pregnant is not something I can't do alone, Jonathan. And you haven't touched me in so long. God, I miss you touching me...making love to me**_**." She didn't have the energy to say anything to him. Again he left for work without telling Jennifer he loved her. He almost floated to work, knowing Emma would be there when he got there.**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 10**

A few days later Jennifer went back to work. Everyone in her office was glad to see her back at work after weeks of being away. Jennifer walked in to her office and found a beautiful bouquet of flowers on her desk. With a smile on her face, she walked over and read the card that was tucked in the flowers. It read "WELCOME BACK JENNIFER, WE MISSED YOU", and it was signed by everyone in the office. A few minutes later Liz, her secretary, stuck her head in the door. "Good morning Jennifer. How are you feeling this morning?" she asked. "I didn't think I'd ever get back to work" she said, looking at the stack of files and paperwork that was waiting for her. "Why don't we get to work, Liz" she sighed. You're back early, we weren't expecting you back for a couple more weeks. We were thrilled when you called and said you'd be returning, but I hope you're not pushing yourself by coming back early. Are you sure you're up to it?" Liz asked, with genuine concern for her friend. "Don't ask" she said, shaking her head. Liz went down the hall, and was back a few minutes later with a hot cup of tea and a small plate of saltine crackers. "Liz, you're an angel" Jennifer said when she saw what Liz had for her. They got to work, and as they made their way through it Liz kept a caring eye on her. Jennifer seemed to feel a lot better while she was working. It felt great to be back, and it distracted her from things at home. They worked through the morning, and at lunchtime Jennifer ordered a chicken sandwich and a small salad, and Liz brought her another cup of tea. An hour after she ate, she could feel the food rising. She had a small bathroom in her office and, without saying anything to Liz, disappeared. In the privacy of her bathroom she vomited uncontrollably and then retched for a few minutes after that. Liz couldn't help but hear her. It was heart wrenching listening to her. After a few minutes Liz got her a cold damp cloth, an icepack and a pillow. Without knocking, or calling out to her, Liz opened the bathroom door, and Jennifer suddenly felt a caring hand on her back as she knelt huddled over the bowl, and slumped against the wall. "Lean against me, Jennifer. Just let yourself go" Liz said quietly, as she held Jennifer's hair back. "Jennifer didn't say a word, she was too sick, and so grateful for the help. Jennifer slumped into Liz as she put the icepack on the back of her neck and the damp cloth on her forehead. It was nearly an hour later when Jennifer finally looked up at Liz and said, "I think I can get up now." "Jennifer, do you want me to take you home?" Liz asked, concerned for her friend. "No Liz...really..." she said, as she walked to the couch in her office. She fluffed the pillow Liz brought her, and stretched out, covering herself with a light blanket. "I'll get up in a few minutes" Jennifer said, feigning a smile. "You get back to it, and I'll get up in a few minutes...and Liz...Thank you." "No need to thank me. That's what friends are for. I'll wake you in half an hour" Liz told her. It saddened Jennifer to realize that Jonathan hadn't once comforted her while she was being sick...hadn't brought her a cup of tea, or a couple of crackers...or even held her hair back for her while she was throwing up. A half hour later Jennifer got up, went to her bathroom and brushed her hair, and her teeth, and joined Liz, who was still working at her desk. She felt better and was ready to get back to work, and neither of them ever mentioned what happened. She was so grateful for Liz. They were more than boss/secretary...they had worked together for years, they were friends. Jonathan came home for dinner around 7:00 p.m., and they sat down to the supper Marie had prepared for them. "How was your first day back?" Jonathan asked, looking at his dinner plate. "It was fine." She didn't mention her vomiting and retching for nearly an hour, or her half hour nap on her couch. "I have a lot of new cases to get to." This was what he wanted to hear. "So do we" he smiled. "We have an awful lot of new clients, thanks to Simon." "You don't suppose there's any funny business going on, do you, Jonathan?" she asked suspiciously. "Jennifer" he snapped, as he slammed his cutlery on the table, "stop looking for problems in everything. Quit being such a God-damned attorney." "I'm sorry" she cowered. "It's an occupational hazard." They finished dinner, and she cleared and cleaned up alone. Shortly after she was in the bathroom on the floor, at it was a repeat of her morning in the office. The only difference was this time her friend Liz wasn't there to hold her hair...to show her some compassion. She knew Jonathan would never do it. Eventually she managed to change and make it into bed, and Jonathan glanced over at her. "You'll probably think this unfeeling of me, but why is it that you were fine at work today, and get sick almost the minute you get home? Is this a bid for sympathy?" he asked her, not knowing what she had been through at work earlier that day. "It's the chemo...I have papers from the hospital that tells you what to expect. Would you like to read it?" she asked. She hoped he would. She'd see it as a small sign that he still cared. "No thanks" he answered, "I'll take your word for it" he answered. He got up and got dressed. "Where are you going at this hour Jonathan?" she asked. "I'm just going for a walk to clear my head. It's been a long day", he said as he grabbed his jacket, and left their bedroom. When she heard the front door close downstairs, she rolled over, clung to Jonathan's pillow and cried uncontrollably.

Jonathan walked for hours, his mind swarmed with conflicting thoughts of Emma and Jennifer. He couldn't stand it anymore. He walked to a phone booth and called her. He dialed, and she answered on the second ring. "Hello" she said breathlessly, having run to answer it. "Hello...Emma...It's me" he said into the phone. "I was just out for a walk and...I ended up here...in a phone booth", he told her. "A phone booth where?" she asked. "I'm just a block away from your place...Em, can I come up?" Emma smiled into the phone. "Of course...come on up before you freeze" she said. He ran the block to her front door. Suddenly he realized this was the only place he wanted to be. It had been the only place he wanted to be ever since he met her. She buzzed him in, and he ran up the stairs, and stopped when he saw her standing at the door. There she was, wearing a sheer white nightgown with small flowers and leaves on it, which he could see through completely. Gazing at her in awe, he didn't say a word, but went to her. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he backed her inside, and closed the door behind him. Without saying a word, he lifted her nightgown over her head and stood there taking in her beauty, the perfect breasts, the petite waist, the long, graceful legs, and the 'hot spot' of curly hair. "Oh my God...Emma...you are so beautiful" was all he could say. He picked her up and carried her into her bedroom, dimly light by the small light on her bedside table. As she lay there on her bed she started to unbutton his shirt. He took off his pants, and briefs in record time, and came to her on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him, running her delicate fingers up and down his back. He nuzzled her neck, tracing kisses from her neck to her collarbone, to the perfect breasts that lay in wait for him. He hungrily took a breast in his mouth, teasing the nipple with his tongue. The sound of her moaning with pleasure drove him crazy...he couldn't get enough of her. He showered his attention to her other breast while his eager fingers moved down her abdomen and gently explored her 'hot spot'. "Oh...God...Baby..." she moaned. She rolled over, straddling him, wanting to give him as much pleasure as he was lavishing on her. She held his hands above his head, tracing kisses from his neck down to his chest, running the fingers of her free hand through his brown, curly chest hair, her mouth came to taste and tease one of his nipples. She seductively found his 'manhood', teased the engorged tip with her tongue before taking deeply into her exquisite mouth. He thought he would explode on the spot. "Oh...Baby...God yes", he moaned breathlessly. She cascaded kisses down his abdomen, her hand gently stroking his 'manhood'. They were driving each other into a frenzy...all he wanted now was to feel his 'manhood' inside her, and she was wanting him inside her...thrusting long and hard, until they reached their 'peak' together. They explored every inch of each other, moaning, and gasping for breath. When they 'peaked' they lay, breathless, wrapped in each others arms. They discovered, and pleasured each other a few more times...on the rug in front of the fireplace, on the kitchen floor, and in the bathtub. After their last passionate episode, in her bed, he looked up at her in awe, "Oh God...Emma...you're going to kill me", he whispered, "...but what an incredible way to die." He held her in his arms, in awe of what they had just discovered with each other. They had waited months for the ecstasy they found in each others arms. He didn't want to come to her until, in his heart, he was free of ennifer, and he was almost sure he was now. There was no other woman he wanted now...except Emma. "I love you, Emma", he whispered as she drifted off to sleep. "I love you too, Baby" she whispered back. He lightly teased her breasts with his fingers. He had been worth waiting for, as she knew he would be. He drifted off to sleep, thinking how lucky he was to be there, wrapped in the arms of this beautiful woman. He drifted off to sleep, trying not to let himself think of Jennifer.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 11**

Jonathan spent the night in what seemed to him to be Heaven. The next morning Emma and Jonathan woke up in each others arms. Before they got out of bed they recaptured the magic of the night before by making love again...and then once more in the shower before getting ready for work. Jonathan and Emma drove to work together, but Jonathan hung back about 20 minutes or so before he went in to the office. His feelings for Emma were still new, and many people in the office knew and respected Jennifer. They would have to be careful...if their affair was discovered people's high regard and respect for him would take a hard hit. Jonathan and Emma went about their day, business as usual. At the end of the workday Jonathan went home. As Jonathan walked in the front door Jennifer looked at him with tears in her eyes. She wondered where he'd been all night, as she sat looking through a photo album...remembering how much in love they were on their wedding day...on their boat off the Island of Rhodes...in Monte Carlo... "What are you doing here Jonathan?" she asked. "You don't have to be here, you know. You're not my prisoner." Looking puzzled, he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means that it seems to me that you're unhappy here...that when you are here you'd do anything not to be...you haven't so much as kissed me with any passion since I had my surgery, never mind make love to me. So, why are you still here? Anytime you want out Jonathan, the door's right there" she said, pointing to the front door. "Since we've been married I've always been there for you, without question or hesitation. I always thought we loved each other enough that it would work both ways...obviously I was wrong. Now it's me that needs your love and support...more than I ever have...and you just don't have it to give me, do you?" she cried, as tears ran down her cheeks. "Jennifer, are you telling me that you want me to get out?" he asked, surprised by what she said. "No, Jonathan, I'm not. I'm saying that I love you, and I want to stay married to you...but if you don't feel the same way towards me...if you don't want to be married to me anymore, you can leave anytime you want to" she told him. "Why are you saying all this to me?" he asked her. "Because, like I said before, you're hardly ever here, and even when you are, you're not. We are living in the same house, and Jonathan, I've never felt so alone in my life. Do you want to go to counseling with me?" she asked. "No, I don't." All he wanted now was to be with Emma. After finding so much passion and excitement in her bed, wrapped in each others arms, she was the woman he wanted. But he also knew he wasn't ready to let Jennifer go yet either. "We can work this out Jennifer." "Who do you think you're kidding Jonathan? Our marriage is over" she stated firmly. "No it's not. I'm not ready to divorce you" he said. "Well...that's awfully big of you, Jonathan. Do you think you'd look bad? Poor Jennifer loses her breast, and you can't just walk out and divorce her...what would people think? Is that it Jonathan? You are a fraud, and I don't care how many people you try and hide it from...you know it, and now I know it too. Not once have you been there for me since this whole nightmare started. The only excuse I've come up with for it is simply that you can't handle it. But you know what Jonathan...I'm tired of making excuses. He's tired...he's scared...he doesn't understand..." There were tears in her eyes as she said it. "I'm sorry Jennifer" was all he said. He didn't make a move to console her. He went upstairs and packed some clothes, and half an hour later Jennifer heard the front door close. He went to Emma's, and within minutes their clothes were all over the floor, and they were in her bed...teasing, touching, tasting and exploring every inch of each other...driving each other into a passionate frenzy...again, and again, and again. Finally, after hours of passionate ands intense lovemaking, they fell asleep in each others arms. The next morning, out of sheer politeness, Jonathan called Jennifer and told her he wouldn't be home for the rest of the weekend. He didn't tell her where he was, and she didn't ask. Later that day Jennifer's friend Liz called her and asked her out for lunch, and a bit of shopping at Bloomingdale's. She agreed to go with her. After the argument she had with Jonathan she was hoping it would help take her mind off things. Jonathan and Emma were leaving on Monday morning for business meetings in London. He wanted to pick up a few dress shirts, and toiletries before they left. Jennifer strolled up the aisles looking at summer dresses, and a couple of new outfits for work. As she shopped, a beautiful woman caught her eye. When she looked, she noticed the handsome man that was with her. At first glance, she thought he looked a lot like Jonathan. She watched them for a few minutes. They held hands, kissed tenderly, patted each others backside, and just seemed to be lost in each other. Jennifer thought they looked to be very much in love, and remembered the days when she and Jonathan were as lost in each other as this couple. As they walked in her direction she quickly hid behind a dress rack. She saw the couple clearly now. She had never seen the woman before...but recognized the tall handsome man...it was Jonathan, her Jonathan. She grabbed Liz's arm, and ran out of the store crying. Jennifer told Liz what happened as the 2 women walked to Liz's car. Liz understood, and drove Jennifer home. A few days later, on Sunday night, Liz called Jennifer to see how she was holding up. A few of her other friends had called her too. They had all begun hearing rumors...but Jennifer didn't see anyone. She was glad to go back to work Monday morning. She was planning to immerse herself in her work ant not think about Jonathan. For Jonathan, the weekend with Emma had been about making plans, and falling in love. He told himself that he had never been so in love before, not even with Jennifer...but that was because he was still trying to forget her. Liz came into Jennifer's office and found her crying into her hands. Coming around the desk, she wrapped an arm around Jennifer's shoulders. "Hang in there, Jennifer. You have to be strong" she said, trying to be cheerful. "I have been strong" Jennifer said, almost yelling at her. "And what has it got me? My husband comes home after I'm in bed, if he comes home at all. He hasn't touched me in months. We now know why, after seeing him in Bloomingdale's with that beautiful woman...they couldn't keep their hands off each other. I'm vomiting and retching all the time..." "Stop it, Jenn. You have to be strong for you" Liz snapped at her, startling her. "You only have a few more months of chemo to get through...then, God willing, it'll be all over. If Jonathan sees himself as a victim in all this then to hell with him. You have to think of yourself now...no one else. Do you understand that? Liz went down the hall, and returned a few minutes later with 2 cups of tea. She placed a cup in front of Jennifer, and one in front of her. She closed Jennifer's office door, then returned to her seat across from Jennifer. "Jenn, I want to share something with you" she smiled. For nearly an hour Liz shared her personal history with Jennifer. Liz was a cancer survivor. Her husband was a lot more supportive than Jonathan, but what Liz realized...and what Jennifer had yet to realize, was that it was her fight...she had to fight, to be strong for herself. Jennifer decided, after listened to her friend, that she was going to do whatever it took to beat her illness, and more importantly...she was going to do it for herself.

Jonathan spent the next 3 months in Europe with Simon and Emma. After the first month Simon returned to the Los Angeles office. Jonathan and Emma had enough work to keep them busy. In fact, Jonathan often thought there was a lot more work than usual. Simon never seemed to run out of work to forward him, and new clients to take on. Jonathan wouldn't be returning to Los Angeles for quite a while. But as long as he had Emma working with him during the day and in their bed at night, he was a happy man. Jonathan heard from a close mutual friend that Jennifer had started to lose her hair. He didn't want to know what was going on at home. In fact, while they were in Europe he was so wrapped up in his love affair with Emma that he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on at his home office in Los Angeles. JR and Robert (the senior partners) joked with him about Emma a couple of times. During a private moment between the 2 men Robert said something to him about how sorry he was about to hear about Jennifer, and their marriage. Jonathan was anything but sorry, and figured his colleagues were just jealous. It never occurred to him that they thought it was lousy of him to leave Jennifer now, all alone to battle cancer and chemo. Emma and Jonathan retuned home after 3 months in Europe, and Jonathan stayed in her condo with her. Within a few days of their return Jonathan was served with divorce papers from Jennifer's lawyer. Jennifer wasn't asking for anything from him except the house they lived in. She was more than fair. After all, she had her law practice. What she wanted from him he didn't have to give her. He thought it was silly to have regrets about the past. It was good once, but things were much better now. As he looked over the papers Emma walked into his office. Noticing the solemn expression on his face she locked the office door, and came and sat on his lap, rubbing herself against him. As usual, when he slid his hand up under her skirt, he discovered she was not wearing any panties, and he loved it. Panties were something Emma had long since given up wearing. "Do I have any meetings on my calendar this morning, Ms. Stevens?" he asked between kisses, as she unzipped his pants and reached in for him with her long, slender fingers. "I don't think so, Mr. Hart" she said seductively. "Oh wait, I just remembered one...here it is" she smiled, as she took his 'manhood' out of his pants and put her mouth around it. Jonathan put his head back, groaning with pleasure. When she left his office after their 'meeting' they both had smiles on their faces. After months of vomiting, retching and chemo, Jennifer spoke to her doctor about a breast implant. He examined the tissue around the area where her breast had been, and after he explained everything to her, she took some time to think about it. A few weeks later she called him back. "Ok, I'll do it. She called her friend Liz when she got home. For the first time in a long time Jennifer sounded optimistic about things. "Liz, I've decided to do it...a breast implant." Liz was thrilled to hear her friend so happy. "When are they scheduling it, Jennifer?" Liz asked her. "In a couple of weeks...but..." Liz sensed her apprehension about it, and offered to go with her. "I was hoping you'd offer...Liz you're the best...thank you." In the meantime, Emma missed London, and wanted to go back. Jonathan would do anything to make her happy. He had been spending so much time with her that he had seriously neglected his business. Emma had proved to be a very demanding woman.

A week later, on the Monday morning, Jennifer had gone in to her office to discover she had a number of messages waiting for her from Jonathan. Their divorce had gone through uncontested, and they hadn't spoken to each other in months. Jennifer couldn't imagine that he would have anything to say to her now. She didn't return his calls. The next day the newspaper headlines caught Jennifer's eye. There were pictures of Jonathan, Robert, and Simon. The story said they were being indicted by the grand jury for fraudulent investments, and embezzlement. She couldn't believe what she was reading. Jonathan had always been meticulously honest...or had he. Jennifer had learned that she didn't know Jonathan as well as she thought she did...but this?


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked**_

**Chapter 12**

**As soon as Jennifer got in to her office Wednesday morning, and got her messages from Liz, she discovered 2 more telephone messages from Jonathan. "He sounded pretty upset, Jennifer. I don't know what's going on, but he said it was urgent...that he really needed to talk to you. If I were you, I'd leave him blowing in the wind...after the way he treated you" Liz added.**

"**I'll give him a quick call, thanks Liz" Jennifer said, as she walked around and sat down behind her desk. **

**She called him, and he picked up on the third ring. "This is Jonathan Hart" he said when he answered. **

"**Jonathan...it's Jennifer" she replied. **

"**Jennifer, thank you for returning my call" he said, sounding nervous.**

"**What's going on, Jonathan?" she asked, still shocked by the headline she saw in the morning paper. She thought she knew him. **

"**I'm not sure yet. I know some of it, not all of it. I'm up the creek, Jennifer. I need help. I need a lawyer" he said, sounding very nervous. **

"**I can't take your case, Jonathan. I..." she was saying. "Ok, I get it. But you can advise me about what I should do now. Can I talk to you? Can I come and see you, Jennifer? Please?" He was begging her. After nearly 25 years of marriage, she felt she owed it to him to at least listen to what he had to say. Despite everything that happened to them, in a way, she still loved him. **

"**I'll see what I can do. But I'm going to refer you to another lawyer, Jonathan. I'll do the best I can if you want to tell me what happened. When do you want to come to my office?" she asked.**

"**Now?" he asked.**

**It was just before 10:00 a.m., and she had an appointment at 1:30 p.m., but she was free until then. **

"**Ok, come on in. I have some free time now" she said.**

"**Shouldn't you turn him over to another lawyer right away?" Liz asked her.**

"**I probably should. But I want to hear what he has to say first" she told her, before going to ask Ben, one of her colleagues, to sit in on the meeting with her.**

**Jonathan arrived at Jennifer's office 20 minutes later. As he sat across the desk from them, Jennifer noticed that he was visibly shaking, and had dark circles under his eyes. Jonathan was obviously in shock. His reputation was down the drain, and his entire life had seemed to have fallen apart in a matter of just a few months, while he was in Europe with Emma. **

**Jonathan told them everything that happened, or at least everything he knew. It wasn't a pretty story, and like he told Jennifer before, he didn't have all the answers. What appeared to have happened, as far as Jonathan could figure, was that Simon had, over time, brought shady clients into their business, making up their histories and bank reports, and then embezzled money from the firm as well as from legitimate clients and began laundering huge sums of money from shady sources in Europe. It had been going on for months. **

"**I was a damn fool" he admitted. "Simon is as crooked as they come. You were right about him, Jenn. And then I find out that JR and Robert were in on it with him. Not at first, but they caught on to something he did, and he bought them off. He paid them to keep quiet, convincing them no one would ever find out" he explained. "Simon managed to keep me away in Europe while he made his worst deals. While I was gone someone at the bank got suspicious and called the Securities and Exchange Commission. And, blind as I was, I let them take me down with them. So...how bad is it?" he was anxious to know. "It's pretty bad, Jonathan" she said honestly. "I don't think you're going to be able to talk your way out of this one. It's going to be hard to convince the grand jury that you didn't know what was going on, even if you didn't."**

"**Do you believe me, Jennifer?" he asked her.**

"**To a point" she answered honestly. "And the girl...Emma...what part did she play in this?" she asked...other than destroying our marriage, she thought to herself. **

**Jennifer went to the phone and called John Smith.**

"**Who are you calling?" he asked nervously.**

"**John Smith. He is one of our firm's senior partners. He specializes in tax fraud and SEC violations" she assured him. This was what he did best, and he promised he'd be in her office in a few minutes. **

"**What about you? Will you stay on it too?" he asked, his eyes pleading with her. **

**In spite of feeling sorry for the mess he was in, Jennifer didn't want to get too involved with him.**

"**Will you consult on the case? Be an associate? Jenn...please..."**

"**I'll see what John Smith has to say after you talk to him" she said.**

**Liz was furious at what was happening. After what Jennifer said, and all Jonathan had done to her, she was compassionate towards him.**

**Suddenly there was a knock on her office door. "Ms. Edwards. How are you this morning?" the senior partner asked as he entered her office. "Fine thank you, Sir" she said, standing and extending her hand to him. She made introductions, and shared her notes with John Smith. He nodded and frowned as he paced her office, reading her notes. When Mr. Smith sat down to speak with Jonathan, Jennifer stood up to leave. **

"**Jenn, please don't go?" He looked up at her, genuinely scared.**

**She suddenly remembered how she felt when her doctor told her she had cancer, how scared and alone she was, and how he was never there for her. He had been out chasing Emma, and letting the likes of Simon, JR and Robert destroy his business, while she was left alone, on her knees, vomiting and retching her guts out over the toilet bowl. **

"**I'll be back" she said, leaving the office so he and John Smith could talk in private. She walked down the hall to Liz's office to wait. "Hey lady, got time for a cup of coffee?" Jennifer smiled as she entered. **

**Liz looked at her with a look of total disbelief. **

"**That sonofabitch. He hasn't done anything for you since you got sick a year ago, if he ever did before that, which I tend to doubt. Now he comes begging you to help him because it looks like he's going to jail. You know, you really ought to let him. It would serve him right. His fancy 'piece of ass', and her partner, Simon, set him up for embezzlement and fraud and he comes crying to you to save him." Liz was furious. It was as though she was the one that Jonathan had betrayed, not Jennifer.**

"**Oh my God, Liz...calm down." Jennifer wasn't expecting the reaction Liz had to Jonathan's office visit.**

"**He sits there in his expensive Brioni suit, having just got off a company jet from Europe, and he acts all surprised that his partners are crooked. Well, I'm not surprised...in fact, I think he was in on it, with his cute 'piece of ass' right from the start" Liz ranted.**

"**Well, I don't" Jennifer said calmly, sitting in front of Liz's desk. "I think it happened just the way he said it did. He was playing around with Emma, not watching, and they screwed him."**

**Jennifer never got the coffee she went to Liz's office for, but decided John Smith would be done talking with Jonathan by now, so she got up and went back to her office. **

"**Well, Mr. Smith. Where are we?" she asked.**

"**Not in a good place I'm afraid, Ms. Edwards" he answered. "The strongest thing Mr. Hart has going for him was that he didn't know what was going on until late in the game." John Smith felt that JR, Robert and Simon would go down hard, but there may be a slim chance of saving Jonathan if they could manage to try him separate from the others.**

**Jonathan shook hands with both John Smith and Jennifer, and thanked them both for their time. **

"**We'll be in touch soon, Mr. Hart" John Smith said as Jonathan left Jennifer's office. **

**For the first time in his business life Jonathan was scared. He was facing serious jail time if he was found guilty. He tossed and turned in his bed that night...hoping that Jennifer would help him. He needed her, and the sad part is that he now realized, to an extent, how she must have felt when she needed him. He wondered is she felt as alone and scared as he was feeling. The question that plagued him now was whether or not Jennifer would help him. In spite of all the problems they had, and the fact that they were recently divorced, he was proud of her legal mind. He needed the best lawyer...and Jennifer was the best. But, after all that's happened, could he convince her to take his case? He certainly hoped so.**


	13. Chapter 13

Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked

Chapter 13

John Smith came up with a plan of attack, and scheduled a meeting with Jonathan and Jennifer to discuss it. His idea was to play on the sympathies of the jury. He wanted to play on the fact that Jennifer had cancer, that Jonathan was half out of his mind with worry, taking care of her, and not paying attention to his business. Jonathan trusted his partners, and in fact, he had not knowingly committed any crimes, he had been the pawn of Simon and his partners.

It sounded good from a legal standpoint, but Jennifer felt it was unfair that he should use her as a defense, when he had done so little for her. It was a legal ploy, and Jennifer understood it, but it still angered her.

"What do you think, Ms. Edwards? Could it work?" Smith asked her.

"It might...if no one looks too closely. I think most people knew that our marriage was falling apart, and that Jonathan was less than supportive."

Jonathan flinched at her brutal honesty.

"Did people know that he wasn't supportive of you?" Smith asked.

"A few. I didn't broadcast it. Jonathan's life was very 'involved' at the time. Jonathan has been rather blatantly involved with another woman since last fall."

Jonathan looked stunned when she said it. He hadn't realized how early on Jennifer had found out about him and Emma.

"Is that true, Mr. Hart?" Smith asked.

"Yes, it's true. It's the woman I told you about, Simon's assistant, Emma Stevens."

It was awkward to have to admit it in front of Jennifer, but he realized that he had to tell the truth.

"Has she been indicted too?" Smith asked, looking at Jennifer.

"No. Not yet sir. The indictment papers for Ms. Stevens are being drawn up as we speak" Jennifer said.

"I see. What is your situation with Ms. Stevens now, Mr. Hart?" Smith asked.

"I'm living with her, at least I was up until this morning" Jonathan answered, feeling like a complete jerk in front of Jennifer.

"Well, Mr. Hart, I'd like to have a few days to digest what I've learned here this morning, and let's see what the grand jury does. When do you testify before them?" Smith asked.

"In two days" Jonathan answered.

"Well, that gives us some time to plan a course of action. I'll be in touch" he said, getting up and shaking Jonathan's hand.

"Jennifer, I'll call you soon" Smith said, shaking her hand.

When Smith left Jennifer's office the 2 of them were left alone to face each other.

"I'm so sorry Jennifer. I didn't know how much you knew" Jonathan said.

"I knew enough" she acknowledged, but she didn't want to talk about it now. There was no point.

"When did you find out about Emma?" he asked.

"Do you remember when you lost your memory, and you asked me if I thought you could ever be involved with another woman...and I told you that I'd know if you were? Well I did...and it was only confirmed for me when I saw the 2 of you coming out of L'Orangerie 3 weeks ago.

When Jonathan got home he found Emma waiting for him. "Why do you look so sad, Jonathan?" she asked coyly.

"I just found out that my wife knew about us all along. You have to give the woman credit. I gave her the worst year any woman's ever had this side of hell, while she lies around half dead, vomiting and retching her guts out, and on chemo, and she's elegant enough not to admit she knows we're having an affair. She's quite a lady" he admitted to her.

"Why don't you go back to her then?" Emma asked bitterly.

"Jennifer is to smart to ever take me back, and I can't say that I blame her" he said, more to himself than Emma.

"The stupidity of this situation is that I wasn't paying attention. You blindsided me, Emma. I was too busy trying to get under your skirts to realize what was going on around me" Jonathan told her.

"Nothing's going on now, Jonathan. It's all over. You're finished" she said, as though his troubles amused her.

"I know I am. Thanks to Simon" he said. He had a feeling she was a big part of it, but didn't have any real proof.

"What about you, Emma? Will you be there for me through all of this?" he asked her.

"I don't think so, Jonathan" she said, as she uncrossed her legs, showing him everything he thought he had wanted.

"I didn't think so" he said.

"Will you miss me?" she asked seductively, as she stood in front of him and tried to slide her fingers down his pants.

He grabbed her wrist. "No. I won't miss you. I'll miss the illusion" he told her. He had traded real life for a fantasy, and he knew it. It was a bitter pill to swallow. And he had lost Jennifer in the process. Emma went into the bedroom she had been sharing with Jonathan, packed her clothes, and 3 hours later she was on a plane back to New York. That night, on the eleven o'clock news they repeated his tragedies, stating that JR and Robert Barnes, and Simon Ewing were indicted by the grand jury, and that each of them were facing 15 counts of embezzlement and fraud, and charges against Jonathan were pending. They had also stated that there was not enough concrete evidence to warrant an indictment of Ms. Emma Stevens, who they suspected was involved.

Jonathan's appearance before the grand jury took almost the whole day. At the end of it, their indictments were that Jonathan Charles Hart was to stand trial on 9 different charges. Smith had already selected 3 of the firm's best lawyers to help him.

The next time he saw Jennifer was when he was back in her office to see Smith. They review his case, and Smith told him he was putting a great legal team together for him.

"Will you be a part of the team, Jennifer?" he asked, with a look that was almost pleading.

"Smith asked me to be part of the team. I declined the offer, Jonathan" she said. "After all that's happened, I'm honestly not sure I can give you my best. I'm sorry, Jonathan."

"I understand. It's ok" he told her, looking like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stomped on.

Three weeks later the trial began, and dragged on for nearly a month. Although she wasn't part of Jonathan's legal team, she was in the courtroom everyday, quietly sitting in the back, observing.

The jury took 5 days to deliberate, and recalled evidence, and testimony, and then, finally, it was all over. Jonathan and his partners were asked to stand. Jennifer noticed throughout the trial that Simon tried to maintain a calm air about him, but she didn't buy it. The only one Jennifer felt sorry for was Jonathan.

The jury foreman was ready to read their verdicts. They started with JR, then Robert, and Simon. As each one of their charges was read, one word echoed through the quiet courtroom: _GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! _Thejury found the 3 men guilty of 16 charges each... Then it was Jonathan's turn. He gave Jennifer a quick glance, and she tried to give him an encouraging smile, but couldn't quite manage it.. Jonathan faced the jury, as the foreman cleared his throat. This was it...the verdict was in, and Jonathan was about to learn his fate. The judge spoke. "Will the defendant, Mr. Jonathan Charles Hart, please stand and face the jury. Jonathan stood up and faced the jury, and nervously waited for the foreman to announce his fate.


	14. Chapter 14

Hart to Hart: A Hart Attacked

Chapter 14

"Will the defendant, Mr. Jonathan Charles Hart, please stand and face the jury. Jonathan stood up and faced the jury, and nervously waited for the foreman to announce his fate.

The jury foreman stood up and read the verdict. "As to the charge of embezzlement, we, the jury, find the defendant, Mr. Jonathan Charles Hart_, not guilty_ on all counts. As to the charges of fraud, and conspiracy to commit fraud, we the jury find the defendant, Mr. Jonathan Charles Hart _guilty_ on all counts.

The courtroom erupted as the verdict was read. As Jonathan and Smith and his legal team stepped into the hall photographers and reporters swarmed, trying to get a statement and pictures. Jonathan looked around for Jennifer, but he couldn't see her for the crowd of people that were around.

Suddenly he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned around to find himself facing her. "Are you alright?" she asked with genuine concern.

I don't know...I think I'm just numb. I kept telling myself to expect it...but I didn't. Jenn, I need a drink. Will you please come and have a drink with me?"

He could tell from the look in her eyes that she was going to decline his offer. Before she had a chance to respond she saw him tearing up.

"Please Jennifer...just one drink." He was begging her. "Alright, just one drink" she said. They managed to get through the mob, and went in to "The McKenzie Arms" for a drink. They sat in a corner booth, and the waiter took their order. As they waited for their drinks Jennifer said, "Oh Jonathan...I don't know what to say." She was at a loss for words, and all she felt at this point was terrible grief for him. Feigning optimism she said, "There's still hope that the judge will be lenient in sentencing you."

They found him guilty, and he'd have to go to prison. They both knew that.

"It can't have felt any better when they told you that you had cancer" he said sadly, taking a sip of his drink.

"It didn't. But I'd rather go through chemo than go to jail" she said sadly.

Jennifer only sat for one quick drink. She had to get back to her office, as she still had afternoon appointments scheduled. As she approached her office she noticed Liz watching her. Liz followed her into her office.

"Jennifer, what are you doing? Why are you being so supportive of him? Are you still in love with him? After everything he's done to you...put you through?" Liz asked, sounding almost angry.

"No Liz, I'm not still in love with him. I care about him, and I feel terrible that this has happened to him" Jennifer answered.

"Don't you think he deserves it?" Liz asked her.

"No I don't think he deserves it" Jennifer said sadly. "He deserves to lose his job, his business...even his reputation. He hurt a lot of people by being blind to what his partners were doing. But he shouldn't go to jail for that. It's not right" Jennifer said, defending Jonathan.

"Sounds to me like you still love him" Liz scolded.

"Maybe I do, and I don't know it. I don't love him romantically anymore Liz. But I love who he was, and what we had. Jonathan and I were together for a long time Liz...almost 19 years. We had it all. Then I got sick, and everything fell apart" Jennifer explained, with tears in her eyes. "He's going through a rough time with everything that's happened, and I'd like to at least be supportive that's all. Now, I've got a lot of work on my desk to get to, and I'm sure you're busy too, so if you'll excuse me" Jennifer told Liz, gesturing her to leave her office.

With the verdict reached, and sentencing not scheduled for another 3 weeks, Jonathan knew he wouldn't see Jennifer unless he went to see her at her home.

As Jennifer sat enjoying a cup of tea, curled up in her favourite chair, her doorbell rang. She didn't want to see anyone, but the doorbell rang again. Her visitor was persistent, and she reluctantly got up to answer the door. She opened the door to find Jonathan standing on the other side of it. He looked in worse shape than he did when they had their drinks earlier.

"Jennifer, I have to talk to you. Please. There are things I have to say, while I still have a chance to say them...before I go to...go to prison. I love you Baby. I've always loved you" he started to say. Jennifer turned her back on him. She didn't believe what he was saying. If he loved her he couldn't have put her through half the hell he put her through.

"I know I have no right to you anymore, seeing as we're divorced, but I want you to know that I love you. Evan at my craziest, at my worst...I loved you. I just...I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stay. Then Emma came into my life...and it was almost like she became a part of me...I couldn't...Jennifer, I'm so sorry. I know how wrong it was, but she was driving me crazy. And so were you. Half the time I felt like I was going mad. But I want you to know...I never...ever...meant to hurt you" Jonathan said through misty eyes.

"Why are you telling me all this...What do you want from me?" she asked angrily. "To make me admit that deep down I still love you, so you can feel good about it when you leave? Let it go. Don't carry all this with you to prison. Let me go...let us both be free. We both need that. Please Jonathan, let it go." Jennifer whispered.

Jonathan hadn't slept all night, thinking about her, and the verdict, and suddenly everything was different.

"Jennifer, I can't let go of it. I don't know how to let go" he said, wanting to kiss her. "God help me Baby, I still love you." Jonathan said.

"And, deep down, I love you too. But it's too late now" Jennifer said as he approached her, running his fingers up her arm. She backed away from him. "Don't do that...please...for both our sakes." He opened the door for him to leave. Jonathan sadly walked out, but turned to say something to her.

"Jonathan...don't. All that's left to say to each other is goodbye." And with that she closed and locked the front door.


End file.
